Our whole universe was in a hot dense state, Then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started. Wait… The Earth began to cool, The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools, We built a wall (we built the pyramids), Math, science, history, unraveling the mysteries, That all started with the big bang!
“Since the dawn of man” is really not that long, As every galaxy was formed in less time than it takes to sing this song. A fraction of a second and the elements were made. The bipeds stood up straight, The dinosaurs all met their fate, They tried to leap but they were late And they all died (they froze their asses off) The oceans and pangea See ya, wouldn’t wanna be ya Set in motion by the same big bang!
It all started with the big BANG!
It’s expanding ever outward but one day It will cause the stars to go the other way, Collapsing ever inward, we won’t be here, it wont be hurt Our best and brightest figure that it’ll make an even bigger bang!
Australopithecus would really have been sick of us Debating out while here they’re catching deer (we’re catching viruses) Religion or astronomy, Encarta, Deuteronomy It all started with the big bang!
Music and mythology, Einstein and astrology It all started with the big bang! It all started with the big BANG!
but I really would like to talk to T.S. Eliot and Walt Whitman. And I decided that maybe I should wait until the morning to reply to the student who e-mailed me about determining heterozygosity. That might not be spelled right.
So, after reading The Editing Room’s send-up of the latest Harry Potter film, I got to thinking: It is kind of odd that wizards are all like “Muggles are so backwards with their matches and cars!” when we have some pretty kick ass technology.
I mean, they use owls as a mail delivery system. We use email. Point to the Muggles.
The books are set in the early to mid-nineties, before email and cell phones were used by everyone and their 90 year-old grandmother. But the movies are set in the now times and I just don’t understand how sticking your head in a fireplace to talk with someone could be more efficient than a web-cam.
Then I realized, there’s another, non-fictional group of people that hang on to the antiquated and outdated technologies, despite the abundance and ease of modern conveniences.
I have come to the conclusion that wizards from the Harry Potter universe are almost identical to the Amish.
Both wear antiquated clothes.
Funny hats and beards? Check.
Both eschew electricity.
Because open flames are safer than light bulbs…
Both refer to people outside of their special club by funny names: Muggles and English
Both travel by outmoded forms of transportation.
Wheee! I’m being inefficient!
And, of course, both believe their way of doing things is superior to the rest of the friggen world.
Well, I think I’ve made my point. The Amish and Wizards are, without a doubt, exactly the same.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off the Lancaster County to get some quilts and house elves.
I have a theory about this kind of thing (ie almost all fantasy). My idea is that overreliance on magic has retarded other aspects of technological and social growth. Basically through the use of magic they are stuck in the Middle Ages is what I mean
It doesn’t explain McGonagall’s wardrobe choices though
I agree on the communication issues, but apparition gets anyone anywhere way faster than a car. And so does floo powder, provided there is a fireplace in both locations (which would make traveling from school to home way more convenient for me). Brooms may be inefficient, but at least they don’t use fossil fuels or give off any emissions. No excuse for the clothes though.
Exhibit A: A Nice Fire and Some Moonpennies, by Dorris Heffron (1971)
She was Maizie McComber and she was sixteen, a Canadian Indian, and new experiences were her bag. She went out of her way, if she had to, for a really good one. That was why she decided to try pot. But not at home. Not in Kingston. People knew her there. It had to be in Toronto.
Maizie’s trip to Toronto was truly an experience. From the moment she set out, with her dog for company (why not?), the people she met and the things that happened to her were all possible, but they were probable only for someone as unlikely as Maizie. No one else could confront sex, hippies, organic farmers, and a whole football team – just in the course of hitchhiking – with such aplomb, or such funny results. And that was only on the way to Toronto.
Maizie was not the kind of person to stop before she had achieved her chosen experience. But it was what happened before and after the pot that made it an experience worth reading about, one others can enjoy, laugh over, and reflect on.
This video was made by a guy from my school for a Nikon Film Festival. The contestants were asked to make a 140 sec video depicting a day in their life. Right now he is a finalist for a $100,000 prize, so if you could check out the video (and maybe vote) well, that would be awesome.
In the last few days, I’ve been getting a lot of sympathy calls, and I want to start by making it clear that no one should waste a second feeling sorry for me. For 17 years, I’ve been getting paid to do what I love most and, in a world with real problems, I’ve been absurdly lucky. That said, I’ve been suddenly put in a very public predicament and my bosses are demanding an immediate decision.
Six years ago, I signed a contract with NBC to take over The Tonight Show in June of 2009. Like a lot of us, I grew up watching Johnny Carson every night and the chance to one day sit in that chair has meant everything to me. I worked long and hard to get that opportunity, passed up far more lucrative offers, and since 2004 I have spent literally hundreds of hours thinking of ways to extend the franchise long into the future. It was my mistaken belief that, like my predecessor, I would have the benefit of some time and, just as important, some degree of ratings support from the prime-time schedule. Building a lasting audience at 11:30 is impossible without both.
But sadly, we were never given that chance. After only seven months, with my Tonight Show in its infancy, NBC has decided to react to their terrible difficulties in prime-time by making a change in their long-established late night schedule.
Last Thursday, NBC executives told me they intended to move the Tonight Show to 12:05 to accommodate the Jay Leno Show at 11:35. For 60 years the Tonight Show has aired immediately following the late local news. I sincerely believe that delaying the Tonight Show into the next day to accommodate another comedy program will seriously damage what I consider to be the greatest franchise in the history of broadcasting. The Tonight Show at 12:05 simply isn’t the Tonight Show. Also, if I accept this move I will be knocking the Late Night show, which I inherited from David Letterman and passed on to Jimmy Fallon, out of its long-held time slot. That would hurt the other NBC franchise that I love, and it would be unfair to Jimmy.
So it has come to this: I cannot express in words how much I enjoy hosting this program and what an enormous personal disappointment it is for me to consider losing it. My staff and I have worked unbelievably hard and we are very proud of our contribution to the legacy of The Tonight Show. But I cannot participate in what I honestly believe is its destruction. Some people will make the argument that with DVRs and the Internet a time slot doesn’t matter. But with the Tonight Show, I believe nothing could matter more.
There has been speculation about my going to another network but, to set the record straight, I currently have no other offer and honestly have no idea what happens next. My hope is that NBC and I can resolve this quickly so that my staff, crew, and I can do a show we can be proud of, for a company that values our work.
Have a great day and, for the record, I am truly sorry about my hair; it’s always been that way.
This made me tear up a little bit. Please find a way back to my TV, CoCo! Keep cool mah babehs?? :’(
In my dream world (spurred by the brilliant writer’s strike feud) Jon Stewart, Conan, and Colbert create an awesome ensemble late night program that gets the best ratings and makes me laugh every night.